jmtooktheplanet: (Regretful)
Guilt wasn’t something she was comfortable with. She’d done a lot of damage to Leonard over the years, all premeditated to some degree with consequences already taken into consideration. It had just never been anything like this and somehow that was worse. Jocelyn supposed that conscience came with age in this case or that maybe she’d grown as a person. None of that really seemed to matter now, not once it was already done and she had no idea how to actually fix the situation. Jim hated her with good reason. That was an undeniable fact after she’d caught the look on his face once he’d fled her rooms.

And then there was Leonard’s confusion over the situation. She should have realized, she’d just been too busy caught in pleasant memories and nostalgia of how things had been once to catch on to just how wrong everything was. How wrong he was. It was complicated, so very, very complicated. There was no fixing this. There was nothing she could do to take it away or make it less detrimental to any of the involved parties. She could, however, attempt to make amends for her role in it. Humbling herself with an apology that would no doubt be ill received wasn’t much but it was a start. The rest would come to her.
jmtooktheplanet: (Couch)
There were times when she was away from work that she actually enjoyed herself aside from missing Joanna. That wasn't usually the case when she was assigned to the Enterprise, and rather than walk about the ship, she mostly stayed confined to her rooms. The occasional jabs she managed to get in against Jim notwithstanding, being The Bitch could be very tiring. Contrary to popular belief it was actual work to maintain that level of nastiness on a regular basis. It was the major reason that she'd taken her meals in her quarters and attended to matters at home while the crew went about doing whatever it is they were meant to be doing. There had been talk about some mission or another it just hadn't concerned her, so she'd promptly forgotten the details in favor of more pleasant things.

Like Joanna.

She'd put in a vid call to her little girl to hear all the details about her day at school and her best friend's new horse. Minor things that most people brushed under the rug were a source of happiness for her when they were delivered with a healthy dose of excitement from Jo. As the conversation wound down she wished her daughter goodnight and told her to behave as well as passing on Leonard's love. They were making some kind of effort to be civil toward one another and she couldn't deny how happy it made Jo to hear. It had become automatic by that point to throw in even though she hadn't seen her ex-husband in a matter of days. Just as well. Civility only carried so far and they still had another two months together before she'd be returning to Earth.

With everything taken care of for her day, Jocelyn went about her nightly routine. Shower, pajamas, and quality time with a good book. Henry the eighth and his miserable excuse of a love life had caught and held her attention as of late. She settled on the couch with a throw and cup of tea before delving into the most recent book on the subject to keep her interest.

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jmtooktheplanet

November 2015

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