jmtooktheplanet: (Morning after regrets)
It was the first port they’d been to since the incident and no one thought a thing about the two diplomats leaving their quarters on the ship in lieu of a five star suite in one of the planet’s more luxurious hotels. They’d been forbidden any contact with James since they’d been interrupted and Jocelyn really hadn’t expected much more to come out of it. That was probably why the knock on their door had been such a surprise. The boy, James, had sought them out, and she could tell the decision had been a struggle for him to make.

She stepped aside to let him in even as Clay came up behind her. Jocelyn could feel the approval radiating off of her husband as she leaned against him, and the need radiating off of James as he watched their casual display of touch. Reaching out with her hand, Jocelyn pulled the boy to them and kissed him for all she was worth, feeling his body melt against hers, his fingers tightening in the silk of her nightgown.

Everything dissolved into a nearly wordless tangle of limbs and skin and biting kisses, breathy moans and whispered pleas of more.

Clay ordered the boy into the same position they’d been in when things had come to a grinding halt the last time and her body demanded satisfaction in much the same way. James gave her what she needed happily while Clay teased his body to the point of torture. It was nearly enough for her to disregard the fact that he had the same blue eyes and full lips that Jim did. Nearly, but not quite.

It was only when Clay had gotten the boy to wring the last vestiges of pleasure from her body that he asked if James wanted to come.

Please,” he begged. “Please.”

And they obliged.

He slept curled against her like a child seeking comfort nestled between his parents and she found herself stroking his hair, kissing those lips while Clay lay unaware in sleep beside them both. He nuzzled closer into her with the touch as a sigh passed her lips. Not for the first time she wondered if she’d damned them, if by offering him an escape she’d managed to trap them both.

It didn’t matter when she kissed him again.

“Lyrics” )
jmtooktheplanet: (Exanimate)
She’d watched him drink himself into a stupor every night for a month after his father had died and she’d done her best to be there for him. She’d understood how difficult this was for him and her heart broke for her husband. Things would get better though. He’d find the strength to pull himself through this for her and Joanna, and they’d go on doing their best to put him back together. Time healed all wounds.

Only one month turned into two. And two to four. He was a functioning alcoholic if only just and it took every ounce of strength she had to make sure that the three of them were taken care of and that Jo didn’t see what her father had turned into. She refused to let Joanna be exposed to that, struggled to make sure the little girl was happy and distracted. Leonard distracted himself enough with the bottle.

Everyone had a breaking point, and six months into her husband’s drinking binge, she’d found hers. It was hard to reconcile the man she faced daily with the man she’d married, the man she’d given a child to, and the man she’d loved so much. The man she saw now did nothing but drain her, sap her of whatever strength she had like some kind of leech, and yet she still loved him. She couldn’t afford that. It was a weakness and he’d destroy them both if she allowed those feelings to remain.

The paperwork was the first thing to be drawn up. She needed to strike quickly and efficiently lest she change her mind, but it didn’t stop her from drowning her own sorrows at a bar later that evening. Her attorneys were working to follow her instructions to the letter and there was Clay Treadway. She was miserable and lonely, no longer mourning the death of her father in law, but of her marriage and the man she’d married. Leonard wasn’t that man anymore and that killed her more than anything. Clay flirted and paid attention to her, took her out on the floor to dance and started making the first of many promises he’d never keep. But for that moment in time he made her forget.

She cried after he fucked her but she left that out when she told Leonard.

Once it was all said and done, two months after he’d left and she’d done her solid best to erase every single part of him save for their little girl from her life, she opened the first of the letters he’d sent. In it he begged for forgiveness, made promises of being better, but she wouldn’t let herself believe.

She should have known he’d be the one to keep them.

“Lyrics” )
jmtooktheplanet: (R!V Wary)
Every girl wanted Prince Charming and the fairytale ending. Happily Ever After held its own magical appeal outside of the castle and adoring subjects. It was just too bad those stories were full of blatant lies and mistruths. There was no riding off into the sunset for eternal bliss, and Prince Charming wasn’t quite so charming when he hit you. Of course you could still have the castle provided that you built the foundation on those same lies and mistruths; each brick put in place to cover your weakness from your adoring subjects, who were less “adoring” and more like ravenous wolves looking to rend you limb from limb at the first sign of a chink in your armor.

Jocelyn suspected it was just desserts for what she’d done to Leonard. She’d allowed her anger and bitterness to turn her into the villain and in so doing, she’d driven him straight toward his own happy ending. The one that should have been theirs, but no longer included her. It was written in the smug look on Jim’s face whenever they were forced to interact, in that knowing smile when he managed to see through the front she put on for the outside world. His eyes told her that he knew just how much she hated herself, how much she regretted being the reason things were the way they were between them. She hadn’t just lost her husband in all of it, she’d lost a friend. A friend was something she could have used to help her guard herself from the wolves at her door and the Prince that was really a toad.

Instead she was left alone with her bricks, and her lies, and her regrets, always building. Always trying to recapture what she’d so foolishly given up. It was a pale mimicry of what she’d once genuinely had, and she had no one to blame but herself.

Lyrics )


jmtooktheplanet: (Default)

November 2015

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